"There is more meaning and mutual understanding in examining the primitive markings of a newso than with any other animal I know. Its sight, intuition and sense of smell is so similar to ours that it sees the world in much the same way as we do. It walks around on the ground as we do, though is immensely less logical and more prone to falling over than we are. So if there were ever a possibility of escaping the human condition and living imaginatively in another creature's world, it must be with that of the newso.”

“The first newso was discovered in Birmingham, where it was promptly entered into Secretwars. By use of self-portrait it managed to secure the crown and prize money which it used to develop a more human appearance. It was later discovered this creature had spent 13 years training as a graffiti artist and 3 years studying art under the guise of a degree student. Since then this creature has been tamed to produce work on order for several successful street art exhibitions alongside such wonders as 'that elephant that can paint' and 'the monkey with no fingers wot paints too' as well as many upstanding and internationally recognised graffiti, street art and fine artists.”

Winston Stiltsonbury, explorer, anthropologist and art critic. 2008